DHARMA JOUSTS...disobey the dictates of your conditioning...!

Ana T. Forrest in her book, "Fierce Medicine" describes this concept vividly, and in a way which is so 'real life', and not 'plastic, or sweet, or philosophically 'doctoral and wise'...so it came across as an old friend, familiar, a good one to snuggle into.

She writes: "...a dharma joust is a way of reframing a situation to challenge yourself, asking: What can I do differently, right  now, to disobey the dictates of whatever is trying to lead my life? It's resourceful problem  solving. Making the decision to do a dharma joust doesn't mean you have all the solutions; you're just stating your intent that you're going to find them. Doing dharma jousts with the aftermath of my abuse, my bulimia, my epilepsy, and my paralysis has taught me not to give up. Whatever set backs I face, I now know to joust with them instead of rolling over with my throat exposed and paws in the air."
Later on she adds: "...the challenge becomes: How can I take this shit and use it for fertilizer, even to find humor and beauty within despair to make beautiful things grow from it?" (See Chapter 9, p. 205, Turning Shit Into Fertilizer: Coping with Setbacks) 

Easily said, no?

The problem then becomes a double whammy. You  are facing 'sh...t', you are in the middle of 'sh...t', you feel like 'sh...t', and it is so easy to accept the 'sh...t', that you become 'sh...t'. And that is not what some time later you wanted to happen. Then you become 'sh...t' again, even for a moment of remembrance, at least! So if it starts happening, it becomes easier to just let it happen: which is ...'sh...t'!

Or, as she says, in the middle of it all...yes - ...!, she invites us to bring more ...! into the situation by fighting off the instinct of letting go and obey the usual and faithful ways, and change the behavior that does not go with feeling - the...yes, 'sh...t'! That is difficult!

But I like the way she puts it...a little secret misbehavior of mine: "disobey"! (Isn't it a nice feeling to remember the nice ways of disobeying someone  in authority, doing a little 'taunting', pushing back, in jest, as if saying "Nope, I'll do it this way this time!"). Here she legitimizes 'disobeying'! Ooppps, there goes the 4th Commandment! (And it feels so good!)

The old, subconscious, unwilling (-fully) automatic, asleep, unaware ways of behaving are then challenged here and we are asked to not follow them, to act differently, to not repeat what we know will happen if we follow these tried and true (but unhealthy and unloving to oneself) behaviors. Disobey!!! That is the chant! "Don't go there!" "No, not this time!"

All the warning systems will go into danger mode: shivers, silence in between the ear drums, then sirens, uncomfortableness, stomach twirls, cold sweat, maybe a yelp or two, adrenalin rushing, voices clamoring from the 'control room': "what the ... are you doing? This can't be! You'll pay for this!", "Are you sure of why you're doing?", etc., etc. etc.

Yet that is what needs to be done.

eagle lice

In a previous page she writes: "when you are going thru a hard time, you've got to learn to hold on to what's precious, no matter what. Hold it lightly, hold it gently - just hold it. Everything else that's going on - whether it's creepy, disgusting, annoying or scary - is just eagle lice (reference to a previous story relating an emerging distraction to make one let go of the precious intent).

That intent is one's life. One's opportunity at healing. At discarding the old weary skin, and 'born-ing' into a side of life one knows not of but knows that one has to step into it for one has wished and pursued it all one's previous life...

So, watch out for the eagle lice...but hold on to the precious...and disobey!!!