My experiences, thoughts and their expression: mi vida

The reading this morning opened in page 106, of Brené Brown's book: The Gifts of Imperfection . It goes like this...(and more, these are just some pieces for munching for now...): "I define calm as creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity . When I think about calm people I think about people who can bring perspective to complicated situations and feel their feelings without reacting to heightened emotions like fear and anger". Aha. Hmmm. Really? Few of those around. My Mom's style was that of a ' screamer '; my dad was "cool and collected", but behind it was what is called (and I think was...) " white anger ". So go ahead..I'm interested: tell me more. "If we choose to heal with calm, we have to commit to practicing calm. Small things matter. For example. before we respond we can count to ten or give ourselves permission  to say " I'm not sure. I need to think about this some...

The answer to one's work question, as in "Nice to meet you, what do you do?", comes wrapped in "who are you" themes. And from that, how much worth the asker is going to ascribe to me. And if that were felt, intuited by me to be little, I would feel crushed for the hour or so after that encounter, and maybe for as long as I get to come across that person ever again! But, if the opposite were true, if I sincerely felt that the ask-er responded in a way in which I interpreted, sensed, felt that they were ascribing value to me, based on my response, then I would be "in heaven!". That would be so great! And it would be greater if we 'connected' in some way. If their response was such that they were in the same realm of thinking/doing/believing/being as I. That connection would be a joyous instant in which we would both relish and shine! But, since I may not have the time to answer the convoluted and risky question, or want to, or have the answe...

Today, I was pondering a tough decision. One of those that seems like milestones in one's life. One that brings with it the potential for serious, if not dire consequences. Well, I "let it go" for a minute or so, and took a break. It seemed to be the right thing to do - what I was thinking of doing, but still, given the possibility of consequences, I was giving "it" a consideration of alternatives. At some point, the internal conversation became 'rowdy': "you need to make a decision, but..." The voices calling for closure, awakened. Without making a decision, I started down the path of a confrontation with the decision's situation, where either I would "let it pass" and sulk afterwards....or be forced into making one. In other words, I was forcing a 'showdown'. Before moving on towards my "OK Corral", I decided to open the refrige door and pull out one of those healthy drinks we had bought last Sunday: ...

Phrases that caught my eye reading today Brené Brown's book, pp. 125 and on: "we have developed fairly sensitive bullshit meters (yes!) when it comes to reading 'self-help' books. I think this is a good thing." "...meaningful change is a process. It can be uncomfortable and is often risky, especially when we're talking about embracing our imperfections ( what?, me? ), cultivating authenticity ( really? - every time I express myself I'm kicked in the teeth! ), and looking the world in the eye and saying 'I am enough' ( what does that mean? The world never says...' your mistake was minor, José, it's OK! ' . No. It is always : " OMG!, José, how could you think that/do that/smile like that/say that/cringe like that/twirl your nose like that? That's terrible! "  "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness . It's about cultivating the courage , compassion and connection...