What do you do?...Well, I'm a...
The answer to one's work question, as in "Nice to meet you, what do you do?", comes wrapped in "who are you" themes. And from that, how much worth the asker is going to ascribe to me. And if that were felt, intuited by me to be little, I would feel crushed for the hour or so after that encounter, and maybe for as long as I get to come across that person ever again! But, if the opposite were true, if I sincerely felt that the ask-er responded in a way in which I interpreted, sensed, felt that they were ascribing value to me, based on my response, then I would be "in heaven!". That would be so great!
And it would be greater if we 'connected' in some way. If their response was such that they were in the same realm of thinking/doing/believing/being as I. That connection would be a joyous instant in which we would both relish and shine!
But, since I may not have the time to answer the convoluted and risky question, or want to, or have the answer myself, or if I had the answer, may not want to share it with the person asking ("who do they think they are to ask such a question if we just met?"), I - or is that "we"? - typically respond in terms of our 'work', what we do to 'earn a living', and we make it short. as in, "There you go!"
BTW - what a statement: "earn a living". As if we did not "have a life" before that.
No, I was not dead when I 'signed up' for the job. I was full of hope. And energy. And dreams.
To "earn a living" sounds as if it would be necessary to submit oneself to whatever "that" is, to "earn"... to "merit"...a living. No! I am alive, and I am in no need to 'earn' anything! I provide of my time, energies, experience, brains, psychic and mental resources, including skills, rational and critical thinking, emotional associative energies, etc., to produce something for a need for which in return, I "get " money, AND an office (maybe), A/C, a desk, a computer (hopefully updated and fast...), a land line (something about to be 'passé'?), a cube, or a space, that seems to be constantly shrinking to the bare essentials of the 'office hardware' needs, etc., etc. And, I almost forgot to include..."a boss that is quick to point out my shortcomings, and my developmental needs, and the constant challenges and hoops I need to jump over or around of, and the things I need to do quickly (for the world is about to collapse if that is not done, for it needed to be done for 'yesterday')...etc., etc." (Well, you get the gist, no?) In that exchange, who is earning a living?, for it feels that something is being snuffed out of my side of the bargain. Is that the same for you?
So the answer is...?
Brené Brown in her book refers to a potential answer to the asker, to be: "how much time do you have?", for most of us have complicated answers to the question - "What do you do?"- describing the things that make up who I am (for as pointed to before, what I do is not who I am).
She goes on to say that there is a lot of doubt involved in answering this question when one answers specifically and to the point, so that one starts 'filling up' that space with information so that the 'other' can fill in and feel the 'precision of my response, and the specialty-ness of what I do, and therefore, who I am!
"Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we're enough and letting go of what the world says we're supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves"...is her response to that sense of not being clear, not knowing, of not being sufficient, of not being "enough".
She quotes a theologian - Howard Thurman - in the context of meaningful work: "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive".
Did I start dying the moment "I signed up"?
What really, really, makes me come alive? How 'hard' is that?
And it would be greater if we 'connected' in some way. If their response was such that they were in the same realm of thinking/doing/believing/being as I. That connection would be a joyous instant in which we would both relish and shine!
But, since I may not have the time to answer the convoluted and risky question, or want to, or have the answer myself, or if I had the answer, may not want to share it with the person asking ("who do they think they are to ask such a question if we just met?"), I - or is that "we"? - typically respond in terms of our 'work', what we do to 'earn a living', and we make it short. as in, "There you go!"
BTW - what a statement: "earn a living". As if we did not "have a life" before that.
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| to earn a living...prickly pear |
To "earn a living" sounds as if it would be necessary to submit oneself to whatever "that" is, to "earn"... to "merit"...a living. No! I am alive, and I am in no need to 'earn' anything! I provide of my time, energies, experience, brains, psychic and mental resources, including skills, rational and critical thinking, emotional associative energies, etc., to produce something for a need for which in return, I "get " money, AND an office (maybe), A/C, a desk, a computer (hopefully updated and fast...), a land line (something about to be 'passé'?), a cube, or a space, that seems to be constantly shrinking to the bare essentials of the 'office hardware' needs, etc., etc. And, I almost forgot to include..."a boss that is quick to point out my shortcomings, and my developmental needs, and the constant challenges and hoops I need to jump over or around of, and the things I need to do quickly (for the world is about to collapse if that is not done, for it needed to be done for 'yesterday')...etc., etc." (Well, you get the gist, no?) In that exchange, who is earning a living?, for it feels that something is being snuffed out of my side of the bargain. Is that the same for you?
So the answer is...?
Brené Brown in her book refers to a potential answer to the asker, to be: "how much time do you have?", for most of us have complicated answers to the question - "What do you do?"- describing the things that make up who I am (for as pointed to before, what I do is not who I am).
She goes on to say that there is a lot of doubt involved in answering this question when one answers specifically and to the point, so that one starts 'filling up' that space with information so that the 'other' can fill in and feel the 'precision of my response, and the specialty-ness of what I do, and therefore, who I am!
"Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we're enough and letting go of what the world says we're supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves"...is her response to that sense of not being clear, not knowing, of not being sufficient, of not being "enough".
She quotes a theologian - Howard Thurman - in the context of meaningful work: "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive".
Did I start dying the moment "I signed up"?
What really, really, makes me come alive? How 'hard' is that?
And maybe just maybe what simply makes you come alive is realizing how awesome you are. That truth will change the dynamic of your relationships, the space you fill in that desk, the brightness of the world around you and the purpose you serve to yourself and therefore the service you end up giving to the world. Living yourself creates the space to find excitement in what subject you're involved in (ie work) and how you transform that because you touched it. Maybe that small shift will help to dissipate the negative and create a new energy around the question for yourself?? ...or so I try to practice:)!
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed!
ReplyDeleteI like "Living yourself...". Living yourself? Wow! I need to munch that one! As in "live your self...not the illusion of yourself. The who you wish (?) to be, who you imitate, who you respond to...but the 'real' you. As in "live your life", not somebody else's!
And live it fully! (Psst: are you giving me permission to do so?...OMG!!!)