Yoga Journal - Thoughts on Thinking

By José Blanco
Yoga Journal - Thoughts on Thinking

I have been attracted by this subject for some time. It is elusive, and it is rewarding. It is frustrating. It is hopeful. It is...etc., etc. But one thing it is: calming and enjoyable.

So last Sunday, as I was 'siesta - ing' after a neat run, and my body was sinking in the depths of the wooing of sleep, I "saw" what 'relaxation of effort' meant, a phrase my yoga teachers quote and refer to Patanjali, in his Sutras. And that was that even in attempting to fall asleep I found myself "pushing" to get to sleep! It was as if an inner voice was saying..."come on, hurry up, let's get there; I want this to happen soon, for I have other things to do, and it is going to get late and then I won't be able to enjoy the afternoon and...". Incredible! It seemed that I needed - and that I have in the past - to get really tired and exhausted by working or exercise, to be able to allow myself a good, comfort - ing siesta! I needed to 'knock' myself out. To go into this lull place where 'the lights would go out effortlessly because of the tiredness.

So, if I was pushing to sleep, where else in my life was I "pushing"?

It seems that in all my actions. Waking up...hurry up; brushing teeth...hurry up, so that you can go on to get coffee, and then you can get in a couple of minutes of...etc., etc., etc. Driving: the same. At work - the same. Always - pushing from the moment - this moment - on to the next moment to do something I was not doing in this moment. Ahhh? What is this craziness? Something to process further...

Then I picked up a book, referred to me years ago by Sherry, "The Spectrum of Consciousness", by Ken Wilber. And where did it open itself?...because I didn't...I don't think: page 314, and the subject being...you guessed it...meditation. And this is how it went:"There is no question of what one should think about while doing shikan-taza (1), for in active and vigilant attention thoughts themselves do not arise, since the machinery of thought production is inattention." Whoa! what? This is getting succulent; tasty! Chewy!

And now excited by the note, I read further...: "If thoughts arise, they are simply to be noted then let go, and one gently returns to the active attention of "Speak-I-am-listening", as one becomes proficient in this active attention, thoughts will gradually subside and "silent illumination" will begin to emerge".

Stop! I am to note them, let them go, and then return to active attention as if I were listening to someone speak, and this will make thoughts go away. Wow! It is asking that we 'pay' attention to what is going on in the mind, but then not get into it, but practice letting go, and keep paying attention...focusing on paying attention...letting go...attent. Neat! And then a mystery: what is this "silent illumination" stuff? Is this where I, where one, will get to "really see" what is going on?

A phrase later on clarified it (well, I think...really?) further: "The Taoists emphasize that the fasting of the mind...places one in a state of open receptivity, of "blank" and passive awareness...This state of open receptivity Chung-tzu likened to using the mind as a mirror: 'The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror. It grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep' ".

I am starting to fall asleep; let me pay attention...to that...


(1) "The second major form of Zen meditation practiced today is that of "silent illumination (mo chao)," which is known in Japan as shikan-taza, sitting in meditation "just to sit". ... This silent illumination, devoid of any effort or conceptualization, is easily recognized as...passive awareness. But then, we are moved to ask just how does one reach this stage? Not surprisingly, the answer is that one begins shikan-taza by bringing the mind to a state of crystal, vigilant alertness, of intense but relaxed attention." p. 314

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