Tethered or Untethered...?
It has been a long time since I visited my writing journal...my blog. And yes, I have missed it. But!, life gets in the way: she (?) calls for, and wants - demands? - to be lived. Consequences are paid when one does not. Jumping headfirst into life feels like one is running all the time, not "present", acting (re-acting, really) on what is going on, or denying what is going on...split in two or more pieces. One - intends to and says that one - accepts life as is, and follows the "push-and-shove's" that come one's way, while deep down rebelling against the continual "being-pushed-and-shoved".
Doormat, conformist experience...maybe?
Yes, one can get absorbed in "living life fully" and also inadvertently fall into the trap of living "mindlessly". Just going on the 'float', bumping into each rock along the rapids...indifferent, content and, surprise!, somewhat ugh!...miserable? Wishing things would be different? Waiting for change...this is not going to last...something is coming on...(like the West Side Story tune). One went to an extreme.
Of not being aware.
This author whose book I'm reading - munching, really - brought these ideas to 'mind'. That is, I can live life imposing, fitting my model of what life "should-be, has-to-be, better-be like, or, the way I need it to be", and if it isn't like that internal model of "my creation", it needs to be fixed on the spot, condemned, judged, deleted, thrown out, run-ned away from, dejected, counseled, influenced...aggggHhhh!...the million and one ways to run away from not accepting life as it is!...tiring...exhausting. Energy depletion time. Stomach warming stuff!
Then, one gets on the "change path", that is, change everything that is happening for it's not the "right thing". "Take the initiative. If it's to be, it's up to me. Lead." We judge what is happening...for it is not according to...(fill in the blank)...nor...(fill in the blank)...and we fill in here the sources of power we are latching-on to, and have latched-on to forever, in order to profess to others why they should not trespass the limits of our - my - safety zone. Or is it - safety zoneS? Really, the limits of my cage. My solitary confinement space in which I feel safe. Only there, I do. By myself. Safe at last. Safe.
But, I am safe only until the "penthouse dweller - that inner voice that's constantly "guiding", talking, judging, valuing, comparing, pushing, shaming, etc., - starts opening up and criticizing even that!, then it becomes...stewing time!
No. that doesn't work. Forget it. Let's let it go, or we'll get burned...bad.
The author writes: "There should be no cage. The soul is infinite. It is free to expand everywhere. It is free to experience all of life. This can only happen when one is willing to face reality without mental barriers".
..."experience all of life..." Really?
And...the author writes, a few paragraphs ahead, using the image of a very brave dog that is determined to be free: ..."sitting there, right at the place where the collar starts vibrating, and he is not backing off. Every minute he's stepping forward a little bit more in order to get used to the force field. ... Since it's just an artificial edge...(really?! - more on that later!), he can get through if he can learn to handle the discomfort. He just has to be ready, willing, and able to handle the discomfort. ... If he is willing to go beyond his comfort zone, he is free to come and go at will".
Hmmm.
And...the author writes: "Spirituality begins when you decide you'll never stop trying. ... it is the commitment to go beyond, no matter what it takes. ... going beyond yourself every minute of every day for the rest of your life. ... you are always at your limits. ... never back in your comfort zone."
"...Go beyond where you were a minute ago by handling what's happening now." ...
Oh oh. There comes in that word again: the "now". A hint-hint, by any chance?
And...the author writes: "...(the) comfort zone (the cage, previously!) is so expanded that it can easily fit the entire day, no matter what happens. The day unfolds and the mind does not say anything. You simply interact with the day with a peaceful, fully inspired heart. ... the mind doesn't complain. It all just passes through. ... You realize that you will always be fine. ... You end up loving your edges because they point your way to freedom. All you have to do is constantly relax and lean into them. ... That is what it means to go beyond".
Relax and lean into the discomfort of my edges...the mind will not complain...
I am uncomfortable right now...
Doormat, conformist experience...maybe?
Yes, one can get absorbed in "living life fully" and also inadvertently fall into the trap of living "mindlessly". Just going on the 'float', bumping into each rock along the rapids...indifferent, content and, surprise!, somewhat ugh!...miserable? Wishing things would be different? Waiting for change...this is not going to last...something is coming on...(like the West Side Story tune). One went to an extreme.
Of not being aware.
This author whose book I'm reading - munching, really - brought these ideas to 'mind'. That is, I can live life imposing, fitting my model of what life "should-be, has-to-be, better-be like, or, the way I need it to be", and if it isn't like that internal model of "my creation", it needs to be fixed on the spot, condemned, judged, deleted, thrown out, run-ned away from, dejected, counseled, influenced...aggggHhhh!...the million and one ways to run away from not accepting life as it is!...tiring...exhausting. Energy depletion time. Stomach warming stuff!
Then, one gets on the "change path", that is, change everything that is happening for it's not the "right thing". "Take the initiative. If it's to be, it's up to me. Lead." We judge what is happening...for it is not according to...(fill in the blank)...nor...(fill in the blank)...and we fill in here the sources of power we are latching-on to, and have latched-on to forever, in order to profess to others why they should not trespass the limits of our - my - safety zone. Or is it - safety zoneS? Really, the limits of my cage. My solitary confinement space in which I feel safe. Only there, I do. By myself. Safe at last. Safe.
But, I am safe only until the "penthouse dweller - that inner voice that's constantly "guiding", talking, judging, valuing, comparing, pushing, shaming, etc., - starts opening up and criticizing even that!, then it becomes...stewing time!
No. that doesn't work. Forget it. Let's let it go, or we'll get burned...bad.
The author writes: "There should be no cage. The soul is infinite. It is free to expand everywhere. It is free to experience all of life. This can only happen when one is willing to face reality without mental barriers".
..."experience all of life..." Really?
And...the author writes, a few paragraphs ahead, using the image of a very brave dog that is determined to be free: ..."sitting there, right at the place where the collar starts vibrating, and he is not backing off. Every minute he's stepping forward a little bit more in order to get used to the force field. ... Since it's just an artificial edge...(really?! - more on that later!), he can get through if he can learn to handle the discomfort. He just has to be ready, willing, and able to handle the discomfort. ... If he is willing to go beyond his comfort zone, he is free to come and go at will".
Hmmm.
And...the author writes: "Spirituality begins when you decide you'll never stop trying. ... it is the commitment to go beyond, no matter what it takes. ... going beyond yourself every minute of every day for the rest of your life. ... you are always at your limits. ... never back in your comfort zone."
"...Go beyond where you were a minute ago by handling what's happening now." ...
Oh oh. There comes in that word again: the "now". A hint-hint, by any chance?
And...the author writes: "...(the) comfort zone (the cage, previously!) is so expanded that it can easily fit the entire day, no matter what happens. The day unfolds and the mind does not say anything. You simply interact with the day with a peaceful, fully inspired heart. ... the mind doesn't complain. It all just passes through. ... You realize that you will always be fine. ... You end up loving your edges because they point your way to freedom. All you have to do is constantly relax and lean into them. ... That is what it means to go beyond".
Relax and lean into the discomfort of my edges...the mind will not complain...
I am uncomfortable right now...

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